Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
