my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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