if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We have so much sex to catch up on
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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