I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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