she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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