hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
