Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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