What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My vagina is officially offended.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
