dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
