During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
