god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize