can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize