i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Do vagina's smell?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
