I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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