so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
