Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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