went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
