im having a threesome with these popsicles
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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