Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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