what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
