out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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