i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
