Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
