Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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