i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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