Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize