Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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