Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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