i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's rum buckets o'clock
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
