Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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