smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
