Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She's JV to your varsity
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
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It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
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I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died