I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee