just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Bea Arthur died! :(
Big bird passed.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I licked your asshole in confidence.