she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle