Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff