keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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