Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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