I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
