I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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