If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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