She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Quick, to the slutcave!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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