i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
