Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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