i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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