please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Sorry about my life...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
