I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
