3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
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