Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
