Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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