If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
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I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
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I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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