We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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