I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
