after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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