she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
