I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
