I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Princesses don't give blow jobs
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
