Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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