I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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