you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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