if you like me you must not know who I am
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
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the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
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This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's rum buckets o'clock
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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