We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
