Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
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after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
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I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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