That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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