then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
