How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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